While there are no actual “rules” surrounding the prayers that are said during a Jewish funeral, there are many traditions and rituals that have been commonplace for so many years that they’re pretty much considered to be the norm.
However, every service is individual, with the choice of psalms and prayers being chosen by the family and loved ones.
The Wide Variety of Jewish Funeral Prayers
- The Mourner’s Kaddish
- Other Jewish funeral prayer options
The Mourner’s Kaddish
While not compulsory, not many Jewish funerals take place without a recital of The Mourner’s Kaddish. In most cases, everyone present will chant the prayer together—most usually at the graveside—although different communities will have their own traditions around how this occurs.
Interestingly, the prayer doesn’t mention death at all. Rather, it’s a blessing and praise to God. It’s also believed that the act of chanting the prayer in unison honors the victims of the Holocaust.
Other Jewish funeral prayer options
There are many wonderful prayers and readings that can be chosen for a Jewish funeral. One that specifically prays for the soul of the recently departed is El Malei Rachamim (sometimes called Kel Maleh Rachamim). There are two slightly different versions of this, depending on whether it’s said for a man or a woman.
Some other options that you might like to consider are:
- Psalm 90
- Psalm 23
- Psalm 121
- Meditation prayer
- May their memory be a blessing (derived from Proverbs, chapter 10, verse 7)
- Life is a Journey by Alvin Fine
- We Remember Them
- When All That’s Left Is Love by Rabbi Maller
- Yizkor in Memory of a Mother/Father/Wife/Daughter/ departed ones
- Prayer at the Grave of a Wife/Husband/Mother/Father/Brother/Sister/Child/departed ones
This list certainly isn’t exhaustive. You can select different ones, bible readings, and poems as required.
Jewish end-of-life services tend to be fairly brief. The ceremony is but one element of many traditional actions, including preparing the body and the family’s period of mourning. The latter is known as Shiva and lasts for seven days. During this time the family will:
- Light a candle that’s left to burn for the full seven days
- Receive guests at the home
- Recite the Mourner’s Kaddish
- Reflect upon their loss
- Mirrors are covered and personal grooming is not allowed
- Couples must refrain from marital relations
After Shiva, a second period of mourning, known as Shloshim, commences. This lasts for 30 days. During this time there are still certain restrictions, such as going on outings or social events. Daily prayers and hymns continue to be sung/said. While traditionally there are still many rules to be followed during Shloshim, it’s becoming more common for people to return to a more normal routine. This period is still considered a time of mourning but at a lesser intensity.
Following Shloshim—on the 30th day after the burial—the time of mourning ends for all family members. The only time this differs is when remembering one’s parents. Following the death of your Mother or Father, this period lasts a full 12 months (albeit with far fewer restrictions).
On day 30 of Shloshim, it’s traditional for the whole family to gather and recite prayers and Psalms. A meal usually takes place and it’s also customary to give to charity.
Naturally, every service and period of mourning is individual. Most families take guidance from their Rabbi on how to complete the process.
Discover Jewish Funeral Prayers and End-of-Life Options at the Jewish Cremation Society
The Jewish Cremation Society is all about choice. Whether you’re planning for the future or saying goodbye to a loved one, today’s Jewish end-of-life services offer a range of options.
Our experienced team can offer advice about funerals, services, traditions, and even cremation—if that’s the direction you’d like to take. From funeral prayer options to logistical aspects, contact the Jewish Cremation Society for expert, discreet advice.
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