There are four official stages of Jewish Mourning—although the stage of honoring and remembrance of the deceased that continues indefinitely could be considered a fifth.
The four stages are known respectively as, Aninut, Shiva, Shloshim, and Shnat Ha-Evel (the first year).
Understanding the Stages of Jewish Mourning
- Stage one: Aninut
- Stage two: Shiva
- Stage three: Shloshim
- Stage four: Shnat Ha-Evel (the first year)
Stage one: Aninut
Aninut is the phase between the person’s passing and their burial (or cremation). Traditionally this is very short—lasting from 24 to 48 hours. However, it’s becoming more common for the end-of-life service to be delayed by a day or more. This is to give time for family and friends from far afield enough travel time to attend.
Stage two: Shiva
This is the seven days following the burial or cremation. It’s a time of intense mourning for the close family. They remain at home and receive visitors to share meals, talk, and celebrate the life of the deceased. No personal grooming takes place and intimacy between couples is placed on hold. Mirrors in the home are covered up.
While tradition states the length of Shiva is seven days, some families observe the practice for a shooter period—perhaps two or three days. This will also apply if a Jewish holiday falls within the seven days. The length of Shiva is usually announced at the funeral.
Stage three: Shloshim
Shloshim is the 30 days following the burial or cremation—although Shiva takes up the first seven days, making the remainder of Shloshim 23 days. Mourning rituals are reduced and the family can leave the house.
The strictest elements of Shiva are lifted, permitting mourners to:
- Return to work and business practices.
- Resume personal grooming, wear scent, makeup, and jewelry.
- Study the Torah.
- Resume marital relations.
This list is not exhaustive, and mourners should consult their Rabbi for instruction. Some of the things that remain forbidden during Shloshim include:
- Luxury baths and showers—although a quick shower is permitted.
- Listening to music.
- Attending social events.
- Get married.
Again, some practices are relaxed. An example might include a long-planned wedding or for those whose work entails attending events.
Sometimes Shloshim is observed for less than 30 days—either by the family’s choice or if a Jewish holiday cuts Shiva short. However, even if this is the case, on the final day family members gather to pray, recite Psalms, and donate to charity in the name of the deceased. A meal is usually prepared and shared by all.
Traditionally, the mourning period then ends for all except the children of the person who’s passed.
Stage four: Shnat Ha-Evel (the first year)
While traditional practice states that only the children of a deceased parent should continue to mourn for a full 12 months, it’s becoming increasingly common for other close relatives to also observe this.
This involves reciting the Mourner’s Kaddish every day for the 11 months up until the first anniversary—known as Yahrzeit. Mourners are encouraged to return to their normal daily life, while honoring and remembering their loved one with the daily prayer.
Over recent times, a service to celebrate the placement of the tombstone on the grave (or where the ashes are interned) has become accepted practice. This is known as The Unveiling. It’s a short ceremony that may or may not be officiated by a Rabbi.
On the anniversary of the death—Yahrzeit—a candle is lit and left to burn for 24 hours in the family home. The Mourner’s Kaddish is recited.
Discover More about the Stages of Jewish Mourning at the Jewish Cremation Society
Whether your loved one has a traditional Jewish burial or a contemporary cremation, the stages of Jewish Mourning remain the same.
Discover more about end-of-life options and the ceremonies that surround them at web link and call today for a confidential discussion.
