Shiva is the Hebrew word for seven. It’s a term used for the seven-day mourning period observed by close family members following the death of a loved one. The word originates from the first seven days following the Great Flood, as described in the book of Genesis. 

The stage of Shiva begins immediately after the burial. While it traditionally lasts for a full seven days, families can choose to observe a shorter length. If a Jewish holiday falls within the seven days, this can also shorten the length of Shiva or split it into two parts.

Shiva FAQs

• The most common questions asked about Shiva
• More about understanding Shiva

The most common questions asked about Shiva

Whether you’re Jewish or want to support a Jewish friend through a bereavement, having a basic knowledge of Shiva practices can help.

• Who observes Shiva? Close family—children, siblings, parents, and the spouse of the deceased.
• When does Shiva start and finish? It begins immediately following the burial (or cremation) and ends with a morning service—known as Shacharit—seven days later.
• What happens at the beginning of Shiva: Following the end-of-life service, the family and mourners go to the family home. A pitcher of water is placed outside the front door, and everyone washes their hands before going inside. A candle is lit by a family member to represent the start of Shiva. This will burn for the full seven days.
• Why might Shiva be shorter than seven days: If the Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Passover, or Shavuot fall within the seven days, then Shiva ends. Shiva is not observed on the Shabbat. Instead, it’s paused and then resumed the following day. A family can also choose for Shiva to be shorter—say, for two or three days instead of the full seven.
• Can I visit the family during Shiva? Yes, you can. This is known as a condolence call and is firmly ensconced in Jewish tradition. Historically, it wasn’t necessary to ring the doorbell or knock, but to simply enter. This is so as not to disturb the mourners. However, today this isn’t so strictly observed. Do not speak to the mourner/s first—wait for them to acknowledge you. Once this has happened, a simple “I’m sorry” or a hug (if that’s your relationship), will suffice. During the visit, the mourner/s will share memories, usually about the deceased. A condolence call typically lasts for 30 minutes or less.
• Should I bring anything with me? You may, if you wish, bring some food. Alternatively, you can donate to charity or the synagogue in memory of the person who’s passed.       

More about understanding Shiva

Certain rituals and traditions take place within the family home during Shiva.

• All mirrors are covered: This is because personal grooming is paused during Shiva. Covering mirrors helps prevent this happening—it’s believed that personal appearance doesn’t matter during this time of grieving. 
• Chairs are removed and replaced with low stools or boxes: Another tradition is that the mourners sit close to the ground. While the origins of this tradition are not definitively known, it’s commonly traced back to either a passage in the Book of Job or one in the Book of Samuel. The former relates the arrival of three friends to provide Job with comfort—the latter when King David lay on the ground in grief.

If you can’t physically be present during Shiva, it’s customary to send a card or letter. An email is also considered acceptable. For close friends, a phone call might be appropriate.

Want a Deeper Understanding? Shiva Advice for All End-Of-Life Services from the Jewish Cremation Society

In similarity to a relaxation of strict traditions surrounding Shiva, cremation is also becoming more popular. Despite this, strong views against the practice remain. The Jewish Cremation Society exists to provide unbiased, non-judgmental, and confidential advice about every type of end-of-life ceremony. 

From understanding Shiva after  cremation to how deviating from tradition can impact family and friends, our experts can help.

Visit web link for more information.